William’s world is all-consuming. For 11 years it’s basically been my full-time gig. Actually, I think it will always be my full-time gig but I’m realizing that I can have other things in my life that provide personal reward and confidence that aren’t dependant on anyone else.

I’ve written about my journey with fitness and I continue to hang on to my fitness routine for dear life. In fact, I have found passion in creating a balanced, healthy lifestyle and it made me think about ways I could use that passion to help others. So, I decided to get my certification in personal training.

I did a little research and signed up for the first class – Fitness Theory. I didn’t realize how much work or time was required to get through the course but I did it and it all worked out. So, I signed up for the second class – Weight Training. This was nothing like the first course and required so much more time. The assignments were way more extensive, and I started to question my ability to be successful at completing the next stage. But I signed up for the last course – Personal Training. I enjoyed the in-class experience but again, I was overwhelmed by the amount of work required to finish the assignments. Once all the course work was done, I still had to complete the exams and do the in-person practical assessments. In my mind I was questioning myself but I was determined to do it so I booked my exam and practical with just enough time to study and prepare – now I had to show up.

I remember pulling into the parking area, already sweating and then getting a text that something was up with William. My first thought was, do I have to cancel my exam? And my second thought, nope I’m not cancelling! I called to talk the situation through to a place I could feel comfortable that William and his caregiver would be ok and then with every ounce of courage I opened my car door and headed in. Four hours later, I had passed my practical with a perfect score and was now waiting on pins and needles to see how I did on my written exam. Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long and it was confirmed that I indeed passed the written exam with a near perfect score.

I think for a while I resigned myself to the idea that I could only be Wiliam’s mom. But then a switch flipped for me and I realized I could be a mom and anything else I wanted to be too – challenge accepted!

The real shift came when I realized I was a better mom because of my new-found passion. I didn’t realize how much of my education would transfer over to understanding William’s body better. I didn’t know that I would feel better about myself and more connected to all of my kids. I didn’t know that the little successes since completing my certification would improve my mood, my patience, my ability to multi-task like a ninja and ignite a fire to turn my life into what I want it to be.

It’s easy to get lost in responsibilities, guilt, fatigue, diagnoses, routines, house cleaning, laundry, meal making, fear, parenting and advocating, but it’s sure been worthwhile challenging myself to get un-lost – this is a challenge I never want to stop.

~ Keely

Keely is an author and advocate for children living with disabilities. She lives on Vancouver Island in beautiful British Columbia, with her husband, her son William who has cerebral palsy, her two daughters and several four-legged friends.