William has been going to the library for years. Over those years there have been several times a caregiver has asked if they could get William a library card of his own – it’s kind of a right-of-passage for a kid to get a library card and each of them has wanted to be the one to get that card for William. However, they have always come back with a fancy new library card of their very own. The caregivers who have made an effort, over the years, have just said, “it was easier to just get myself one.” I never questioned it and never pushed for him to have his own. As long as we had a way to borrow books from the library, I didn’t really worry about how it happened.

Recently, another caregiver asked if they could get him a library card of his own. I said, “of course, that would be great!” Lately, William has been going to the library at least a couple times a week for lego time, reading, speech therapy, and to meet other kids and practice his communication. So, the people who work in the library know his name, see him with his caregivers, and know his speech therapist. We even rent private rooms at the library. My point is, he’s well known and he’s kinda hard to forget – it’s no secret we are a bit of a circus out in public.

I heard the ring at the gate – William and Wren were home. I was curious to see if the library card acquisition was a success so, I waited for them to settle and then popped my head in to check. Before I could open my mouth, Wren was handing me a form to fill in. She said, “it needs to be filled out by the parent.” I thought this was great – finally a second step rather than no card for William. I happily filled out the form and sent it with Wren on the next library adventure.

The next adventure included the speech therapist, Wren and William. They arrived at the desk only to be asked, “where did you get that form?” Our caregiver responded politely by saying that it was the form she received at the exact same desk the prior week and she had it filled out by mom as requested. Keep in mind, all of William’s caregivers have his personal information and mine at hand at all the times.

When William and Wren were handing over the form, William was trying to explain who he was and that he wanted a library card of his own – on is talker of course. He had worked on screens to help him with acquiring a library card so he could talk to the staff at the library himself. He was able to say his name, my name, and dad’s name. He was able to express that he was responsible and even has his own credit card and van. And he told the staff that in the event that he was out and about without his parents, everyone should trust his caregivers to help make decisions with him. When staff responded to William, they spoke right over his head to his caregiver and didn’t engage back with William. Being stellar caregivers, they encouraged William to respond to the staff. So, he told her his phone number, date of birth, and address without hesitation – they had gone prepared.

I’m not sure what I learned from this experience.

Should I have gone to the library myself years ago to get him a card myself? Should we have avoided the process all together?

Should I be more understanding of a public library not wanting to let a young boy have a library card?

Should I just be appreciative of the team we have surrounding William and their relentless efforts to get shit done – honestly, this isn’t a lesson, I already knew this one.

But seriously, when people show up at a publicly funded place, every employee should be making an effort to help or at least make processes as easy as possible.

Yes, William got a library card but the experience was tragic. I’m not sure how some people will ever understand, but there is a reason kids like William aren’t more visible in our communities and it’s not because there aren’t a lot of them. It’s because our communities still aren’t accessible, people still don’t know how to interact with them, and policies and procedures are becoming so rigid that there is no space for accommodations to be made for sweet humans like my William. Accessibility is less about the hardware and way more about the software – THE PEOPLE.

~ Keely

Keely is an author and advocate for children living with disabilities. She lives on Vancouver Island in beautiful British Columbia, with her husband, her son William who has cerebral palsy, her two daughters and several four-legged friends.