Our team is one of the most important aspects of our family’s life. I’ve written about our team before but there have been some changes so I thought it was time to share a bit more about what the process looks and feels like when we are welcoming new people or saying goodbye to established relationships.

There are almost no words to describe how I feel about the beautiful humans who enter our home every day and care for our boy. However, 2023 was like a revolving door of new staff, many of whom could not hack it. I had one leave in the middle of a shift after a few months of endless training and trying to make things work. There was one I had to say goodbye to during the first month of their training – sometimes I have to face the fact that my initial instincts on the fit aren’t accurate.

When I post an opening for William’s care team, I have to sift through many candidates and then I have to open my home to strangers to come and see what our life is like with William – I call this the meet and greet. Most come and remain interested through this step. I then have to build the courage to open up our world even more by scheduling these individuals’ training sessions with our experienced staff. I know that our experienced caregivers give a lot of themselves through these training sessions and do their very best to give the newbies the tools to get through a shift on their own. They are also providing the first line of defense when it comes to selecting someone who will provide quality, ongoing care for William. Training schedules are usually a month long, if not longer. I try to give new staff shifts with each experienced staff, myself and my husband. For months after a new hire, I remain very close and my paranoid, mama bear self listens and watches and checks in all day long. Upon hearing William’s needy noises, I carefully evaluate the ideal time to intervene or wait to see if new caregivers can find their way through different issues.

Hiring and trusting care staff is likely the most emotionally exhausting part of raising my boy – challenge accepted!

I have to remind myself that I have had 11 years with William to hone my instincts and I too struggled to keep him comfortable at different times. These reminders to myself allow me to give room for these new caregivers to fumble through and find their way. The good ones find their way and prove how invaluable they are. They are guided by their human decency which I need to see in order to build confidence in leaving William alone with them.

This process isn’t easy on William either. He too has to show patience, trust and comfort with new caregivers – this can be tiring for him.

Usually, openings come up when care staff have decided to leave. Through 2023 we had two beloved nurses move along from our team. One had been with us for about seven years and the other for about three. Saying goodbye is not like ripping off a band-aid, it’s like recovering from a complex surgery and takes months to recover from. It starts with tears in my closet that I keep quietly to myself, graduates to sucking it up and then moves to limping along while we get our strength back. We don’t just lose a knowledgeable staff member, we lose a trusted and caring member of our family and usually, William and I are both losing a friend.

Occasionally, I will run into these amazing people when I’m out and about and we share a hug (you know the ones where you hug really hard and sway back and forth) that reminds me of how lucky we are to have had them in our life and William’s life. It also feels like the most amazing reminder that the loving feelings were and are mutual – ok now I’m crying.

So stay tuned for the next blog, “Our Current Team.”

~ Keely

Keely is an author and advocate for children living with disabilities. She lives on Vancouver Island in beautiful British Columbia, with her husband, her son William who has cerebral palsy, her two daughters and several four-legged friends.